Umleavyo : the dilemma of parenting

Abstract

Societies and families are changing all over the world. Less of what the older generations transmit of their experiences can be replicated by the younger generations in their own lives. What we are witnessing is a type of cultural delinking from past generations. Parents despair when their good intentions fail to have an effect and feel overwhelmed by circumstances they cannot control.The Reproductive Health Study Group linked to the University of Dar es Salaam published the first set of studies, Chelewa, Chelewa: The Dilemma of Teenage Girls, in 1994. The focus was on the teenage girl and the various reactions of the adult world to teenage out-of-wedlock pregnancies. The next set of studies, Haraka, Haraka: Look Before you Leap, appeared in 1998 and looked at the erosion of the customs that had regulated marriage, parenthood, and intergenerational obligations.This third and final report, Umleavyo: The Dilemma of Parenting, comprises studies on the generation gap and the ways in which this gap has widened over the past century. In these studies, the past serves as the seemingly stable background on which to project currently fluid and ambiguous parent-child relationships. The main focus of the studies is the different methods of, and goals for, bringing up the next generation. These include physical punishment; achieving compliance through fear and reference to supernatural forces; initiation ceremonies that provide multiple precautions and timely instruction on marriage and procreation; emphasis on relations between people as the most crucial experiences; and encouraging a sense of personal responsibility.The volume is based on the narratives of the grandparents, parents, and youths in the villages of the Pare people in the north and of the initiation leaders in Songea in the south, and on a comparison of the opinions of Nyakyusa elders and youths on gender issues. The central questions raised in the book are: How should one-support youths for whom there is no clear passage to full adulthood? And, how can one forge links between the plight of families and issues of citizenship and public action?

CONTENTS -- The Dilemma of Parenting. Virginia Bamurange -- Counselling between generations -- Who will prepare the girls? -- Fathers who wash their hands -- Who am I? -- At what age is the time ripe? -- An appeal -- From the Moving Forest to Video Movies. Juliana C. Mziray -- Targets of a ”civilising mission” -- The generation of resistance -- The parents’ generation – A split generation -- The parents’ religious commitments and how they were brought up -- A generation without roots and direction -- From the moving forest to video movies -- Custodians of Custom. Mary Ntukula -- Becoming a Ngoni woman -- The road to Ngoni manhood -- Yao migrants in urban Songea -- Continuities, revisions and deviations -- The Lack of Consensus about Gender among Nyakyusa Adults and Youths. R.S. Katapa -- Nyakyusa culture and traditions -- Gender-bound duties -- Negative effects of business -- Government’s contribution and the impact of education -- Virginity, bride wealth and attitudes towards cohabitation -- Non-formal entry into marriage -- Mixed marriages -- Boys’ talk, girls’ talk -- Problems youth face -- Reflections on the current predicament of youth -- The Topic Nobody Wants to Talk About. Zubeida Tumbo-Masabo -- The profile of Manzese -- Feeling risk and bargaining power -- Barriers to communication -- Initiating improved communication -- Conclusion -- In the Past, in the Present and Henceforth? Rita Liljeström -- Families across cultures -- Some characteristics of rural African families -- Adult–children interaction in Africa -- The blow of sexuality -- Advantages and disadvantages of education and marriage -- The divide of individualisation -- What matters? -- Links between family and society -- Biographies of the Authors